My Hero

This little girl understands that the single most awesome character in the star wars universe is none other than Darth Vader. I too would bow before his greatness and join him fully embracing the dark side. With the power of a Sith Lord and the might of the imperial navy I could crush the federation and end the pathetic career of those serving on the NX01

Blog Trek

I need to blog more. My wife is doing it now and begging me to do the same. So this blog that has died and returned and died has once again returned. The problem I have been having is not writing or finding the time. The problem is watching Star Trek enterprise.

This show is terrible. Luckily its only 3 seasons long.

and then comes the awesome of these fine two men.

So my plan is to try to post an episode at least once a week, also I plan on being a lot more cynical then I have in the past, it will be less episode recap and more hate. Expect lots of verbal feces throwing at the faces of Archer and Tripp. Expect lots of other posts about things that ARE awesome like Shatner, TNG and Warp 11.

I need an outlet for writing, and instead of a new blog I will inflict my wrath upon Enterprise.

Peace and long life.

#17 Rogue Planet

The captain is posing on the bridge for a picture to be posted at starfleet command. Why anyone would want to see this guy I have no idea. Its a good thing people like Kirk, Sulu and Spock will come along soon and made Star Fleet not suck.

Real captains 

The ship suddenly stumbles upon a Rouge Planet! A planet that has broken away from its natural orbit and is drifting out into deep space. Upon investigation they find that there is a ship hidden on the surface, it belongs to the Eska who come from another planet for a traditional hunt of this planets native drayjin - A shapshifting cunning creature that apparently is delicious.

Tastes like Chicken

Althoug the species can shift into huminoid form, and speak - begging for its own life - the Eska refuse to believe it is sapient. Armed wit this fact Captain Archer, Trip and T'poll decide to go on the hunt.

Hunting sober is like fishing...sober

During the hunt Captain Archer sees a mysterious woman out in the woods - who promptly runs away the Eska think Archer was just drunk - Eventually it comes to us that the Woman is a drayjin and she wants Archer to help protect her people. He agrees and using a scheme right out of scoobie doo we defeat the evil hunters and fly off once again on our merry way.

Hey stupid! Communication = Intelligence! 

So to recap: The shapesshifting evil non intelligent slug creatures - who can talk to those and beg for there lives turn out to be sapient, and Archer who was helping to hunt them down with a goal of eating them becomes a hero.

#16 Fussion

The Enterprise runs across a small Vulcan ship and is hailed. The ship belongs to an order of Vulcans that has devoted themselves to find balance between logic and emotion and thus act much more "human".

The ship is in need of some repairs, so the crews of each vessel intermegle and get to know one another. T'Pol is basically ordered to work with the Vulcans, something she shows discomfort with at first and later comes to accept. She is convinced by a member of the order to try to find balance and experience emotion herself, she tries - has some bad dreams and later is mind raped during a mind meld with the crew member. She ends up in the sick bay and Archer sends the other ship on its way. Archer being the gentleman that he is does not apologize to T'Pol for putting her in the situation.

#15 Shuttlepod one

I hate Trip. He is by far the worst Star Fleet officer I have ever seen. In this episode Trip and Malcolm Reed get stranded in a shuttlepod during a survey mission. something goes wrong and they start to leak oxygen - they are going to run out of air before the Enterprise returns and are left with no way to communicate with the ship. 


Reed starts to record goodbye messages to his friends and family and Trip tries to find some way to save them, Trip wants Malcolm to do something but instead of leading by inspiration like a star fleet office should he just becomes down right mean.  

Apparently this episode is a cast favorite of  Dominic Keating and Rick Berman. I think they are all savages... 

#14 Enterprise: Shadows of P'Jem

So far the best episode.

T'Pol is to be held accountable for the discovery of the spy network in the 'Andorian incident' and is ordered to return to Vulcan. Archer is unhappy and goes to bat for her.

They plan to make a stop on a alien ally to the Vulcans and are kidnapped by some dissidents, and ransom is demanded.

Lucky for Archer he does not need to rely on his incompetent crew to rescue him, our good friends from Andoria are wanting to repay a debt to Archer. So they help with the rescue, Archer uses the indecent to convince the Vulcans to reconsider T'Pols recall. and everyone is happy.

Andorian Assault Squads rock!

#13 Enterprise: Sleeping Dogs

Look out its T'Pol in her Undies again Time!

So the Enterprise stops to look at a gas giant and lo and behold there is a mysterious ship stuck in the atmosphere. They send a shuttle down to the ship - turns out to be Klingon, and find the crew unconscious by some neurotoxin.

T'Pol want to leave and as normal she was right. The Away team gets trapped on the ship and needs to figure out how to escape, it turns out there is one member of the Klingon crew awake she steals there shuttle pod and escapes, only to be picked up by the enterprise.

Basicly its a weak episode used to just get some crew members into the decon chamber again. 

It also leaves me wondering... Why is T'Pol not in command, or at least not taken more seriously... She is pretty much always right... 

#12 Enterprise: Dear Doctor

So I return! Sorry for the delay in posting anything new I have had too much stuff going on lately...

So with no more delay and more than 9 hours of trek viewing behind me I present to you my impressions of Dear Doctor... 

On-board are some sick aliens who are looking for help, it seems The episode has the crew stumbling onto a pre-warp ship.there entire world is suffering from a disease and they are in danger of extinction. It is decided the Enterprise can interfere because the species has had contact with other warp capable species, so they set down on the planet and have Doctor Phlox start looking for a cure. 

Are you ready for my hate of Captain Archer to grow? So it turns out that there are two sentient species on this planet and they live peacefully and somewhat symbiotic with each other. Also the disease is not a disease at all! Its a genetic mutation that will wipe out species A in a few generations allowing species B to become dominant. Heres what happens: The Doctor finds a cure - Archer and him have an argument, Archer wants to give out the cure but the Doctor says No because that would be tampering with the natural evolution of this planet and its species... 

Archer backs down from the Doctor and does not give out the cure, thus causing the preventable deaths of millions upon millions of species A. He cites that someday there will be a prime directive preventing him from interfering with this species as his reason:

  "Some day my people are going to come up with some sort of a doctrine, something that tells us what we can and can't do out here; should and shouldn't do. But until somebody tells me that they've drafted that...directive...I'm going to have to remind myself everyday that we didn't come out here to play God."

I disagree 100% The prime directive would not prevent the federation from helping this species for a number of reasons:

A) The species has already had contact with numerous other warp capable species. 

B) The other Species on this planet would inherit all the technology, and as a result would lose its own cultural identity anyway (the doctors argument)

C) The Vulcans have been helping humanity solve disease, hunger and other human issues for the last 90 years! 

This seems appropriate again.

The Doctor is still my favorite character on the ship, his argument was sound (in a way). There is also a small side plot with the Doctor coming into a relationship with Crewman Cutler.... 

Nerd Trek Update:

I just removed the Adds from the site, they should cease to populate into anything posted after this post. I had been saying to myself that "Those ad's are annoying" for some time but on seeing a Chinese add for PG&E I decided it was time, if they were at least relevant I would care less but geeze Google your algorithm is for suck on this blog...

#11 Enterprise: Silent Enemy

43:27

A strange vessel drops out of warp, does not respond to the Enterprise hails; when the ship suddenly leaves Malcolm announces his scans were empty, No life signs, proportion etc. Over the course of the episode the Enterprise is harassed by by aliens, fired upon and even boarded. The creatures are never seen in Star Trek before mushroom people.

As always the Enterprise is vastly out gunned and is bullied around by the Psilocybinoids, Archer decides that he is tired of being pushed around - sets course for Earth to have Phase Cannons installed. Malcolm and Trip are able to jerry rig some cannons together and in an unseen act of pure Star Trek when the Aliens intercept the Enterprise, Archer pushes the limits ordering the ship to be overloaded to kick some Alien ass with its new Phase Cannons.

And they do.

Its about damn time that this ship started living up to its (wait thats the future) name! If the NCC 1701 is going to be a flag ship then there is a lot more action like this to be done. I Think Archer needs to turn around and kick everyones ass that has been pushing them around.....

Or at least stop being such a pansy and make his mark on the Galaxy lest the NX-01 become just another Enterprise C with a single moment of Glory. 

Its too bad Kirk was not born yet, he would not have needed to install the Phase Cannon, he could have just wielded it with his bare hands.

                                      

Go! Visit our fellow nerd thought stream at The Thought Experiment  Enjoy her mostly Star Wars post at the link! 

#10 Cold Front

"Oh boy"

So here we have our second Temporal Cold War eppisode (TCW:2).....

The Enterprise finds itself among an alien pilgrimage, Archer invites the Aliens over for a visit, among them is Silik the villain from first episode, he apparently was sent from his 'from the future' masters to steal some tech from Ensign Daniels who is apparently a cook on Enterprise from 900 years in the future and looking for Silik.

Yes Im less advanced and I still win.

Question: Why did he not reveal himself the first time Silik showed up? He would have had the full support of all the security personal that were hunting down the suliban in the very first episode.

Also the teaser for this episode has Silik being punished by his boss from the future by having some of his bio-modifications removed - in other words he is weaker then in the first episode, doing the mission by him self, and being hunted by the Chef....whom he kills on there first encounter.

The Episode ends with T'pol offering to help Archer right his report to star fleet... will the next episode start with Archer being removed from command by Starfleet (or Starfleet of the future)

I must say...I am not impressed. I wonder why we never hear about this temporal cold war in the "future" storyline's, Im hoping Kirk found the footage and using his awesomeness removed it from the continuity...

Wait-spock..This story-is-not...good, give-me-those... scissors

A brief aside:

I Found this very entertaining

Click for full size

#9 Ent: Fortunate Son

Archer is a chump. As is the rest of the crew, with the exception of the two non-humans... In this episode a human freighter sends out a distress call and star fleet dispatches archer to investigate. It turns out the 'boomers' are hiding a  Nausicaan captive on board and are planning on getting revenge for all the times they have been victims of the pirates. 

Now for the lameness. 


Archer lets the boomers attempt to kill himself and his away team on the cargo ship - They seal them in a pod, cause a leak and eject it; then going to warp and evading the Enterprise. Question: If the enterprise can find a far more advanced alien ship capable of cloaking - why was it so hard to find a human cargo ship traveling at just over warp 1? 


Cargo ships are apparently the Appalachia of space. They dont want help, they dont want to travel faster - when told they can soon get a warp 3 engine that will shorten a 5 year trip into 6 months, they balk at the idea preferring the slow way things are. 


Then when the Enterprise finds the cargo vessel (armed with one plasma cannon) it is being attacked by three Nausicaan ships. This is the first time the Enterprise vastly out guns anyone, but instead of attacking the Nausicaan's and ending the piracy; oh by the way the secret pirate lair full of all the loot stolen from humans is RIGHT THERE! - Archer convinces the Boomers to let the prisoner go, and everyone just goes on there merry way. 

.....How the hell did Star Fleet survive? Archer lets everyone (including his own crew) walk all over him. He lets the Boomer that tried to kill him go - He let the Pirates go, likely to continue attacking human cargo ships - He gave advanced holographic technology to the Klingons (Cloaking what?) - And sent The Mallurians who were poisoning a pre-warp society with a covert mining operation (And also tried to kill Archer) Go.... 


I hope this series gets better, I remember Archer being a chump - But not this bad...  

#8 civilization

"As the right of each sentient species to live in accordance with its normal cultural evolution is considered sacred, no Starfleet personnel may interfere with the normal and healthy development of alien life and culture. Such interference includes introducing superior knowledge, strength, or technology to a world whose society is incapable of handling such advantages wisely. Starfleet personnel may not violate this Prime Directive, even to save their lives and/or their ship, unless they are acting to right an earlier violation or an accidental contamination of said culture. This directive takes precedence over any and all other considerations, and carries with it the highest moral obligation" 

This episode represents the first interaction of a Star-fleet vessel and a Pre-Warp / Pre-Industrial society. T'Pol says there should be no interaction only observation until the society develops warp travel. Captain Archer decides that it would be ok to look around disguised as the Aliens as long as they stay hidden.

BUT WAIT! Someone has an anti matter reactor on the planet!? Better investigate: It turns out there are some (non indigenous) Mallurians mining an explosive on the planet, The captain decides the have got to go, as they are using an industrial lubricant that is slowly poisoning the city. When he eventually confronts the Alien-Mine-Leader he says there are millions on this planet a few thousand deaths are of no consequence - Well then why not wipe out the city and mine openly instead of doing so from under your antique store...

At one point on the Enterprise, with T'Pol in command and an alien ship (with shields mind you) about to blow the enterprise to tiny bits - Trip decides to defy an order from T'Pol and orders the ships drive system shut down.... wouldn't that have made you a sitting duck and uhm..dead?

Trip needs to be court marshaled, and Star Fleet better get to work on some rules, although the action taken on the planet did not violate the prime directive (although Picard was a hardliner and might have said it did: watch this Debate).

Writer Bonus points! Guess what? The Mallurians star system gets wiped out a hundred and fifty-one years later (in 2262) by the Nomad probe in the second season "Star Trek" episode "The Changeling." That will teach you to break the Prime Directive! 

Trek observed: 6:52:21

#7 Enterprise: Breaking The Ice

My least favorite episode so far.

The Enterprise stumbles on a comet, and does some core samples and research. A Vulcan vessels shows up and wants to simply observe the Humans. 

Most of the episode focuses on the tension between the Vulcan's and Humans - using the relationship between Trip and T'pol as a microcosm for the whole of the two species. By the end the Humans are a little more Vulcan and the Vulcan (T'Pol) A little more human... 

The Vulcan ship was....odd, I want someone to explain the Logic of its design.

#6 Enterprise: The Andorian Incident

or... Dirty Lying stinking Vulcans.

The Enterprise makes a stop over at a Ancient Vulcan monastery only to find it and its inhabitance are being held captive by a group of Andorians. The Andorians think the Vulcan's have a surveillance outpost hidden in the monistary, the Vulcans claim they do not.

I must say Archer can take a punch, the Andorians beat the snot out of him and he can take it at about 1/2 Kirk - An assault team beams in and 'rescues' the hostages with a brief firefight chasing two of the Andorians into a holiest of hollies in the temple.

I got all excited thinking we had our first dead red shirt, but nooooooo; he gets away with only a minor wound. And then in the middle of the firefight a secret door is uncovered and we find that there *IS* a secret Vulcan outpost.

Archer gets pissed, he lets the Andorians go. He's still on my bad list.....

He should have punched the Andorian square in the mouth.

Alien Sex: 1

Red Shirts Dead: :0(

Blogged Trek 5 Hours 24 Minutes and 31 Seconds 

#5 Terra Nova

Terra Nova was the first extraterrestrial human colony, established in 2078 after a 9 year trip from earth. The Colony proved to be quite successful and five years later "the space agency" decided to send a second colony ship. The last transmission sent from the colony was one  threating violence upon any ship entering orbit, after that communication was lost. The space agency decided a 18 year round trip was too costly making the fate of Terra Nova a mystery.

The Enterprise arrives to find the colony abandoned and low levels of radiation to be present. eventually we find that the colonists were all but wiped out due to a meteor hitting the surface and causing the fall out. Only the youngest generation survived, and by fleeing underground at that. Dr. Phlox finds that the radiation has worked its way into the cave system and will kill off the planets inhabitance in a year or two.

For once Captain Archer does not fail! He is able to act the statesman and befriend the "natives" convincing them to move to a safe location elsewhere on the planet! I must say i'm surprised by the outcome of this episode, I was expecting him to forcibly remove the colonists and sell them to the Ferengi as ear polishers or some such atrocity.

Red Shirt Death Toll: Still at Zero
Alien Sex: 1?

      Blogged Trek Time 4 Hours 41 Minutes 04 Seconds

#4 Enterprise: Unexpected

With this episode I learned some Star Fleet history. The NX-01 was indirectly responsible for perhaps one of most dangerous weapons used against its own vessels in the coming battles with the Klingon's. Due to some unexpected consequences of a three day mission Trip had on a Xyrillian ship, and then needing to find that ship - giving away its position to an Angry Klingon Battle Cruiser, Captain Archer hands over the technology that will lead to Klingon stealth ships responsible for thousands upon thousands of deaths in the future. 

What is it with this crew, they continue to make poor choices. Star Fleet was not a well run organisation in its early years. And could have had Cloaking ships like two hundred years earlier! 


However technically we do have our first Alien-Sexual encounter with this episode, Trip wins the award for being the first to transfer DNA between two species. 


Red Shirt deaths: still at zero
Alien Sex: 1




     3 Hours 57 Minutes 35 Seconds of Star Trek blogged  

#3 Enterprise: Strange New World

Earth Date: June of 2151

It appears to me that the crew of the enterprise needs to spend less time criticizing the Vulcan's and more time listening to Vulcan Advice. The Vulcan's are likely too slow to act, spending time gathering as much data as possible before making the logical decision; while the star-fleet crew of the enterprise is acting only on a whim and doing what they please.

This time it almost killed 5 people on an away mission. Archer sent down the mission to investigate a uninhabited class M planet, T'Pol insists a full survey be conducted first (per Vulcan protocol) expected to take about 5 days. Archers overrides her and sends down a team right away.

Basic plot: Send down crew, they spend day happily exploring planet, camp out over night, storm comes upon them (spreading hallucinogenic pollen) , chases them into cave, everyone goes crazy, trip gets very violent with T'Pol (sees rock people conspiring with the Vulcan), Archer uses Trips...trip against him and saves the day.

Here is my first real bone with Archer... He acted way to fast to just send everyone down, relying only on the sensor scan from orbit. He jeopardized his crew, now its not completely his fault hopefully Star Fleet will create a standard operating procedure for landing on a new (Alien!) world for future discovery's.

Archer you are no Picard with your brash decision making, and no Kirk with your Alien-sex-virginity and failure to kill crewmen....


    3 Hours 13 Minutes and 59 Seconds of Trek Time